Why Do Toddlers Play with the Box and Not with the Gift?

by Jana Murphy, author of
The Secret Lives of Toddlers

It’s Christmas. Santa delivered a baby doll, a walking, talking action figure, Barney puppets, and a battery-operated jeep. So why are the kids deeply involved in a game of king/princess/castle in, under, and around the box that had delivered your new set of pots and pans?

“Boxes are wonderfully open ended, literally and figuratively,” explains Joan Brooks McLane, Ph.D., professor of child development at the Erikson Institute in Chicago, in trying to explain why toddlers often end up playing more enthusiastically with a gift’s packaging than with the contents. “There are so many different things you can do with a box. It lends itself to unlimited possibilities in pretend play. It’s fun to get in and out of, to hide things in, to decorate and to change. It can be one thing today and something entirely different tomorrow.”

And therein lies the difference between a plain old box and the majority of toys on the market. A box is what you make it. “It can become a dollhouse, puppet stage, school, or an alien planet,” points out Marian Diamond, Ph.D., professor of integrative biology at the University of California at Berkeley and the scientist who pioneered the study of how environmental enrichment benefits brain development. “When it comes to providing toys and activities for young children, there is often an inverse relationship between how specific and elaborate the toy is and how much it will excite a child’s imagination.”

A cardboard box, though it has no bells and whistles, offers all kinds of play potential. In addition to the unlimited possibilities for a toddler’s imagination, it holds physical thrills. Getting into and out of a big box, covering themselves up with it, tipping it on its side and using the flaps as doors all give toddlers new perspectives on their own size, strength and how they fit into their surroundings. Seeing how they can and can’t manipulate a new space is a delight out of all proportion to the simplicity of the container.

Now That You Know...

Today, the box; tomorrow, the toy. . Just because your toddler wants to play with the box today and not the new toy doesn’t mean that’ll be the case tomorrow, next week, or next year. The time when parents are most acutely aware of their children’s fascination with cardboard boxes often comes on occasions that bring not just one new toy, but lots. In the excitement of a party or a holiday, and faced with an abundance of toy riches, young children often retreat to something simple and not intimidating, like a box. If your toddler ignores his new toys on a special occasion, try reintroducing them at a rate of one or two a day over the next few days. Taken one at a time, chances are your toddler will be eager to play with his new loot.

Use it play-by-play. It doesn’t take much effort to use your toddler’s new favorite toy as a teaching tool. According to Dr. McLane, toddlers learn new concepts more easily when they experience both the words and the actions together, making interaction with a big box the next best thing to its own lesson plan. Here are just a few suggestions for making the most of yours:

• Help your toddler learn positional terms by keeping a running commentary on his physical relationship to the box: “And now, ladies and gentlemen, Brendan is under the box. But wait! Now Brendan is next to the box. Would you look at that? Brendan is behind the box.”
  
  
• Break out the paint and teach your toddler the color words while you take turns decorating your treasure.
  
  
• Feed your toddler’s creativity by showing him all the things just one box can be: On its side, it's a cave where he can pretend to be a bear; upright, your toddler can climb inside and be a present to be delivered (surprise!) to you; upside down, with black circles drawn on top, it's a stove to cook on and play kitchen.
  
  
• Get your toddler thinking ahead--a skill that still requires a lot of effort from him--by asking him what he would need to take with him in his box if it was a spaceship, a boat, a school bus, a tractor, an airplane. Let him tell you what he’d carry on for each kind of trip. You can even help him pack a bag and “board.”

***********

What does your toddler do that mystifies, frustrates, or delights you? Here's your chance to check out other parents' stories, and share your own experiences of some of your child's "wonderful, terrible, fascinating" behavior. Click here to go to our "Parents Respond!" page.

For more information about toddler behavior, check out the newly released book The Secret Lives of Toddlers: A Parent’s Guide to the Wonderful, Terrible, Fascinating Behavior of Children Ages 1 to 3, by Jana Murphy. With the help of over 30 pediatricians, child development experts, nutritionists, and sleep specialists, Jana’s book explains the reasons behind 52 common toddler behaviors and offers tips on how parents can make the most of the positive, downplay the awful, and enjoy this stage of parenting.

***********

To see other Jana Murphy's other columns, click here.

To contact Jana Murphy, email her at janamurphy@pplplc1.com.

For an article about low-tech toys -- that is, toys that are "powered by imagination rather than electricity," click here.

For a list of places to purchase these kinds of toys, click here.