The Three Stages of Living:
Present, Future, and Past

Ideas for DOing rather than BUYing from Cindy's Porch

By Cindy
Publisher, Cindy's Porch

"A person has to live, too!"

When we hear these words, they are usually associated with BUYing something, or spending a ton of money on an activity like supper out, an expensive holiday, or a special treatment at a spa or hair salon.

Marketers, retailers, and advertisers love using these words on us. It's implied that if you don't BUY whatever it is that they are selling, then you are not living. I say "phooey" to that!

"A person has to live too!"

People who are BUYers rather than DOers love to use these words. They use them on themselves to justify all the purchases lingering around on their credit card debt, plus the one they are about to add at the checkout counter. And they use them on their friends and relatives to encourage them to make as many IMPULSE purchases as they do. I have learned that BUYers like to try and convince others to become BUYers too. I guess no one likes to be alone.

Let's think about this "living" thing. Why has it become all about BUYing? "A person has to live too." Sheesk!

Let's get rid of the retailers, advertisers, and marketers' definition of "living." Let's define "living" in our own words. Not BUYing, but DOing.

Are you ready? Go grab a cup of tea; this is a long one.

Three Stages of Living

There are three stages of "living." They are living in the present, living for the future, and living in the past.

Living in the present

I love living in the present. It is a gift. This is where I get to enjoy the weather, a walk with my special guy, spending time with our kids, working on Cindy's Porch, doing work for other clients, caring for our home, visiting with friends and family, hiking during the summer, skiing during the winter, reading all year round, and whatever else happens to come along during the day.

To enjoy living in the present, we eat healthy foods, move our bodies, and take care of our health (hmmmmm – it's time for me to make an appointment for "that" annual visit to the doctor).

While living in the present, we look for ways to keep costs down. We're not talking about "cheap" as in "junk." We're talking about shopping SMART - with our eyes open. And we are patient. We procrastinate when BUYing. No more IMPULSE (I Must Purchase Use-Less Stuff Everyday) buys. When we are patient, we know we will find exactly what we are looking for, for exactly the amount we want to spend. Or else, we will learn that we didn't actually want or need it in the first place. We spend our money on things we love and things we use. And we want to OWN these items, not OWE on them.

We DO instead of BUY.

Great conversation, giggles, a healthy sweat after a bike ride, a great supper cooked at home using fresh veggies from the garden, watching your oldest child beat grandpa at a game of chess, a good book, and a glass of cold lemonade shared with someone special on the front porch -- all of these are priceless. That's living!

If retailers, marketers, and advertisers had their way, living in the present would mean BUYing absolutely everything our hearts desire (and everything we didn't know our hearts desired until the retailers hawked their stuff). And if we couldn't pay for this stuff using our "present" funds, we could dip into our "future" funds and pay with our credit cards or the ever popular, "BUY now, pay (much more) later" money offers. YIKES!

Living FOR the future

We've all heard of the rainy day fund, the emergency fund, the vacation fund, and the retirement fund. These funds are about living for the future. Even Cindy's Porch's "I'm dreaming of a Cash Christmas" is about living for the future. This is a future I plan on enjoying with my friends and family.

The money we earn today has to take care of living in the present AND living for the future. And often, our poor future gets little financial attention.

I know it is hard to find the dollars to put into savings accounts and retirement funds. And gosh, the chances of setting aside three to six months of your income into an emergency fund seems as likely as winning that elusive lottery.

But it can be done, one dollar at a time. Keep reading…

Living in the past

You know why it is so tough for so many people? They are living in the past, using their future dollars while trying to find the last penny to pay for living in the present. (You may have to read that sentence a couple of times!)

Think about it. People who have long-term credit card debt (not the kind that is paid off in total every month, but the kind where only the minimum payment is paid) are living in the past. Their monthly income is used to pay for meals they ate two months ago, for clothes they wore last winter, for a wedding gift from last summer, and for a trip they took over a year ago. They are living in the past and paying much more for it now. There is nothing left over for the future.

And retailers, marketers, and advertisers don't help this at all. In fact, they give us "discounts" when we use their credit cards instead of cash. They want to keep us living in the past. They want to maintain our "interest" for as long as possible. And gosh, at 20% interest, this is very profitable. BUY now, pay (much more) later is another one of the schemes that keeps us living in the past. And if a person cannot pay the total amount by the year 2008 (or whenever it was due), no problem, the retailer will let you transfer the amount onto one of their store credit cards (for an extra fee) and you can keep living in the past at 23% interest for several more years. That stereo is starting to get VERY pricey.

Living in the financial past keeps us from enjoying the present and saving for the future.

This is a vicious cycle, but one that can be broken. It is going to take time. You have three tools that are going to help you:

1) DO instead of BUY: This is what living is really about - the things that you DO. Think about the things you've always wanted to DO. Instead of heading to the shopping mall, head to local parks, swimming pools, or other places where you can move your body. Instead of going out for supper, invite friends and/or family over for a potluck meal. Learn how to make a new salad. All of us like to DO different things. We just have to DO them.

2) SHOP at home FIRST: This is one of my favorites. Over the years, all of us have purchased tons of stuff (I know it is tons, because ours got weighed a few years back when we moved YIKES). In your home you have food waiting to be eaten, craft supplies waiting to be used, tools waiting to be put to work, clothing waiting to be worn, shoes waiting to be walked on (except those red high heels – what was I thinking, they're only good for standing on for about two minutes), toys waiting to be played with, sports equipment waiting to be used, cleaning supplies waiting to be sprayed, brushed, and broomed, bubble bath waiting to be bubbled and more.

Our homes are a treasure trove of things waiting to be discovered. SHOP at home FIRST. You have already paid for this stuff, you may as well use it. (I think I will take the kids for a bike ride this afternoon – it won't cost a dime).

3) PROCRASTINATE: That is, procrastinate shopping. Remember, there is always another sale. If you are thinking of BUYing something, try to procrastinate. Wait a couple hours, a couple days, a couple weeks, or even a couple months. There is a good chance you will find it at a better price, or you will discover you didn't really need (or want) it at all. No more IMPULSE purchases (been there, done that).

These three tools are going to help you bridge the gap between living in the present, paying for the past, and looking forward to the future. The less you spend, the more there will be for credit card payments (beyond the minimum amount).

Once those credit cards start to get paid off, there will be more dollars left over at the end of the month. Keep focusing on your financial goal. Use those dollars to pay off that high-interest debt. When the cards are paid off, cancel the useless ones. Keep a couple for emergency or travel expenses. Start using cash for living in the present. Before you know it, a few extra dollars will begin to appear to put into your future savings account. I've seen it happen over and over.

The more we live by DOing, instead of BUYing, the more we will have to live for!

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Meet you at the Porch! Website: http://www.cindysporch.net

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P.S. Remember the three rules of NOT buying...
1) DO instead of BUY (can you DO something instead of BUY something?)
2) SHOP at home FIRST (do you already have it at home?)
3) Procrastinate (can you put off BUYing it until later?)

Rediscover Your Money at
www.CindysPorch.net
Frugal, fun tips to help you SHOP at home FIRST,
DO instead of BUY,
and make your finances come alive!